Now, keep in mind that Corbin Fisher as a brand isn’t normally what I’d seek out (nothing personal they obviously have their demographic on point and don’t need my dollar) - but there was definitely something that stood out about Matthew, and even now I have trouble trying to pin point exactly what that was. I immediately took notice to his face and how beautiful he was. I’d been mindlessly scrolling through some random porn blog and caught a glimpse of him. Personally, I’d only become aware of Matthew (or “Sean” whichever you choose to use) a few months ago. And, if they pass away (especially so suddenly + at such a young age), it is somewhat like the loss of something truly special and unique. There are plenty of forum threads and blog posts dedicated to what a loss fans of his feel now that he’s gone, and the basic point I’ve gotten from reading some of them is that there is something about certain pornographic performers that goes beyond and transcends the title “porn star”. But I finally decided to write this after realizing that there are tons of other guys out there who are feeling the exact same way over this.
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I’ve started a few posts, then saved them (knowing full well I’d return just to delete them), then tried to reorganize my thoughts in a way that didn’t seem lame or irrelevant or just silly. Since hearing of Matthew’s death, I’ve debated on even writing this, simply because I didn’t know exactly what to say. From what I’ve read, they were both really cool guys - but how the hell would I really know that? Yeah, I was obviously a fan of their work, but their work consisted almost entirely of having sex in front of a camera, and it is, afterall, just porn …. Of course I didn’t know either of these guys personally. I kind of wandered around for a couple weeks, not knowing what to do with such unfamiliar feelings. It sent me back to December ’09, when Andrew Grande, who went by Dustin Michaels when performing in adult work, passed away. The really weird part was I didn’t understand exactly why I was being affected by his passing at all, let alone that deeply. When I learned that Corbin Fisher model “Sean” (real name Matthew Bremer) had died unexpectedly Monday at just 22 years old, a rush of gloomy, uneasy feelings overwhelmed me.
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I’ve been trying to write this blog for two days without any real idea on how to approach it.